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Dear Hippie: It’s not acid-induced freakery. That’s why you can’t find the spot where you saw The Dead in ’78.

For the six readers who filled out the “Fun Stuff” page in the back of the Best of New Haven 2009 ballot, thanks. Here are the fruits of your sort-of-labor (anything in quotes is a legit reader submission), and when necessary, our commentary.

Best Architecture: The biggest response was “Yale.” OK, we should have asked for specifics. Live and learn, right? One voter singled out the Yale Memorial Quadrangle Gate at Harkness Tower on High Street.

Best Bamboo Grove: “Small but memorable: the one next to the Church of the Redeemer,” writes a reader. (Church of the Redeemer, 185 Cold Spring St., New Haven.)

Best Bar Where No One Puts Up with Your Shit: Rudy’s (372 Elm St., New Haven) easily wins this category. Clearly, the guy who wrote, “They all put up with my shit” hasn’t been there.

Best Gas Prices: We thought this one could be informative. The readers’ choice is Costco. There are locations in Milford (1718 Boston Post Road) and Waterbury (3600 E. Main St.). One reader, apparently returning from a trip to the Middle East, thought we could buy gas cheapest in Saudi Arabia. Maybe. How much gas would we burn getting there?

Best Graffiti: The easy winner is the mural in the parking lot next to the Acme Office Furniture Co. (33 Crown St., New Haven), created by Channel 1’s Lou Cox and local kids.

Best Hiking Trail: No surprise here — Sleeping Giant Park (200 Mount Carmel Ave., Hamden). Of course, we imagine readers mean the best trail is in the park (one reader did single out the blue trail), and that the entire park is not a trail. Right?

Best Local Band: It looks as if there’s an 83-way tie, so we’ll just chicken out and say that all Greater New Haven bands are the best local band. To the guy who entered “Redscroll Records”: That’s not a band. It’s a store. They carry music, much of which is made by bands. Hope that clears up the confusion.

Best New Haven–Themed Shirt: Wow, readers, you know your city well. Your clear favorite T-shirt reads, “New Haven: Jaywalking since 1638.” Also: “‘Yale Mom,’ but only when worn by an inebriated portly man at Rudy’s.”

Best Place for a First Date: Fun fact: Redscroll Records is the best place in the area for a first date! Maybe Redscroll really is the best local band, too! On a less silly note, one reader suggests, “The rooftop of the Yale Art & Architecture building in the spring. Once you get above the chiseled brutality, it’s got the best view.”

Best Place to Get a Drink That’s Not in a Bar: “My kitchen.” Hear hear!

Best Place to Hide a Body: In no way are we condoning hiding dead bodies, or making bodies dead. But readers seem to think the marsh weeds in West Rock Park are a good spot. Also popular: Farmington Canal.

Best Place to See Aging Hippies: Wandering around State Street and George Street mumbling, “Dude, I swear I saw The Dead here in ’78. There was a coliseum. I can’t find it, man.”

Best Place to See Aging Yuppies: Hey, smart guy, we bet Redscroll Records has a lot of aging hippies. But yuppies? C’mon! One reader writes, “Anytime Yale holds a reunion and you can overhear the curses at not having had a Starbucks or J. Crew ‘back in the day.’”

Best Place to Sit and Not Be Bothered (Inside): “Whalley Avenue Detention Center (unless you’ve been nicknamed ‘Sugar Pimp’).”

Best Place to Sit and Not Be Bothered (Outside): The New Haven Green.

Best Public Bathroom: “There is one?”
 
Best Sidewalk: In case you didn’t know, Redscroll Records is a band, the best place for a first date, and a sidewalk. Nice to see those guys branching out.

Best Sign Painter: If by sign painting you mean posters, media packaging and logos, then Todd Rogers (teaessare.com) is your man!

Best Street to Safely Ride Your Bike: The most votes go to, “None.” One reader writes, “None — drivers are insane & discourteous.” Hear that, New Haven drivers? Time to shape up, maybe. No more illegal right turns on red. Or running red lights at night. Or honking at pedestrians in the crosswalk.

Best Thing To Do for Free On a Friday Night: This answer may be legit: “Hang out at Redscroll Records.” “Laugh at the blue Christmas tree” was another favorite, though you can really only do that during the holiday season. “Shopping cart rodeo at Shaws” also rang a bell.

And, the Best Thing About New Haven: Is it the apizza? The universities? The culture? The local music scene? Nah! It’s this: “That it isn’t built on the haunted ancient burial grounds of Old Haven, a sleepy hamlet of sea worshipping folk who traded carved figurines of mermaids from the blubber of washed up whales. That’d be just too spooky.”

But really — and we apologize if we seem sentimental — the best thing about New Haven, dear reader, is you! Thanks for making the Best of New Haven 2009 such a blast.

editor@newhavenadvocate.com